Everything is temporary.

"Everything in our life is so temporary that when you think about it it’s kinda insane."
- Kalyn Nicholson

Well, when you really sit and let it sink it in, it's true isn't it? Everything is temporary; emotions, feelings, our lives, people, relationships, shitty days and the list goes on. The fact that everything is temporary is the reason why we shouldn't dwell into things or our spiral of negative thoughts which will lead us into shitty mood, then having a shitty day. 

So why let yourself be sucked into your spiral of negative thoughts as it's not gonna bring you anything good or make you feel any better, matter of fact it's gonna worsen how you feel. So, why? Why care so much on everything? Why think about it so much, so constant it's like your whole brain and thoughts are revolving around these mundane issues that someday, it's not gonna matter at all, cause it's all temporary. 

Another Rant.

Help me out with this,

I was very clingy towards ex where I constantly spam text, would get super uneasy if he doesn't reply me fast, etc - basically the kind of clingy girlfriend that couldn't live without her boyfriend. So obviously that relationship did not have a happy ending and I was pretty devastated at that time. But all is well now. Heh. 

Next relationship, I became chill af. I rarely say much, just carried out the so-called girlfriend's responsibility and doesn't control much. And that relationship didn't end well too, why? Cause I was being too cool and chill with everything that I was cheated on. So yeah.

So the question now is, what the fck should I do? What is the middle point of being clingy and chill? And most of all, how do I trust without doubts, or know that I will not be cheated on again? Cause although that relationship didn't hurt me as much as the previous one did, but it did some permanent damage in me too that I didn't really realize until recently when I start to ponder upon it, that eventually people will hide things weren't meant to be hidden, giving excuses after excuses, and in the end, everything is just another route to heartbreak. 

It's exhausting. I just wish that I could trust with no doubts, to be loved unconditionally and to just stay together through all the ups and downs till the end with my future significant other. 

Just live.

Maybe we all should stop wishing today will end faster and hope tomorrow come faster. Cause whatever happens today will not happen tomorrow. The people you meet today, you may or may not meet them tomorrow or ever again. You just gotta learn how to enjoy today while it last. It may be exhausting, it may be tiring with shit tons of assignments and workload pilling up. Try to find something good or do something that may make your day less shittier. Life will get better, I promise.

This is a note to self :)