I was very clingy towards ex where I constantly spam text, would get super uneasy if he doesn't reply me fast, etc - basically the kind of clingy girlfriend that couldn't live without her boyfriend. So obviously that relationship did not have a happy ending and I was pretty devastated at that time. But all is well now. Heh.
Next relationship, I became chill af. I rarely say much, just carried out the so-called girlfriend's responsibility and doesn't control much. And that relationship didn't end well too, why? Cause I was being too cool and chill with everything that I was cheated on. So yeah.
So the question now is, what the fck should I do? What is the middle point of being clingy and chill? And most of all, how do I trust without doubts, or know that I will not be cheated on again? Cause although that relationship didn't hurt me as much as the previous one did, but it did some permanent damage in me too that I didn't really realize until recently when I start to ponder upon it, that eventually people will hide things weren't meant to be hidden, giving excuses after excuses, and in the end, everything is just another route to heartbreak.
It's exhausting. I just wish that I could trust with no doubts, to be loved unconditionally and to just stay together through all the ups and downs till the end with my future significant other.
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